Cultivating Curiosity
We live in a world that rewards certainty and quick judgments about the other. Yet the moments I feel most alive are when curiosity slips in and transforms certainty and judgment into connection and possibility.
I’m not talking about casual curiosity that leads to clicking another link or skimming headlines. I mean the deeper, riskier kind—the kind that loosens our grip on certainty long enough to wonder about someone else’s story.
Curiosity is one of the quiet engines of deep listening. It allows us to cross divides that otherwise feel fixed and immovable. It’s something I work to cultivate in myself and that I hope to cultivate in the listening circles starting again in January, and here, with you.
Why Curiosity Matters
Our culture constantly tells us who “they” are, often through media, political rhetoric, or social circles. These stories flatten complexity and narrow our vision until we stop asking questions and start assuming we already know the answers.
Curiosity interrupts that pattern. It opens a gap—the space between who we are and what we know, and who we imagine “they” are and what we imagine “they” might believe. Leaning into that gap with honest questions instead of hardened judgments allows assumptions to become invitations. If we are lucky, fear melts into understanding.
Certainty about someone else’s motives is the enemy of curiosity. It shuts down imagination and traps us in untested conclusions. Curiosity, on the other hand, signals to the other person: I am interested in seeing you. And truly—don’t we all long to be seen?
What I’m Learning (and Who I’m Learning From)
Journalist Monica Guzmán’s TED Talk “How Curiosity Will Save Us” and her book I Never Thought of It That Way have sparked my own imagination and challenged me to interrogate my assumptions. She reminds us that curiosity is not a soft skill. It’s courageous. It requires presence, humility, and the willingness to discover that our assumptions may be incomplete—or wrong.
In today’s increasingly polarized world, curiosity is not a luxury—it’s a superpower we all possess and which we can strengthen as we find ways to reach across the gap to one another and tend to the fragile threads that hold communities together.
A Small Experiment for the Week Ahead
Think of a certainty you hold about a person or group with whom you disagree. Ask yourself: Could there be a gap between what I think I know already and what I might discover if I asked an open, honest question?
If there is even the tiniest gap, consider asking one open, honest question—one that invites a story rather than a debate. Some suggestions:
How did you come to this perspective?
What are you most afraid will happen?
What hope is guiding you?
When the opportunity arises, ask your curious question and listen with an open heart and unclenched mind. Suspend judgment. Breathe deep when your heart tightens. You don’t have to agree or respond—just listen.
Listening with curiosity is small in effort but immense in effect. It bridges divides, reweaves connection, and makes space for civic imagination. May we all find it in our hearts and minds to strengthen our superpower of curiosity and wield it in the name of reweaving connections and relationships, one open, honest question at a time.
Until next time,
Tisha
Reweaving connection begins within. If you’re longing to listen more deeply—to yourself, your purpose, and the world around you—I invite you to a free 30-minute listening session. Together, we’ll explore what’s stirring in you and what might be yours to do.
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Your message about listening with real curiosity rather than certainty really hit home. So many times I'm only half listening to the person while I'm forming a response to protect my viewpoint. I'm really looking forward to the group in January and learning a new and more helpful way of listening! The TED Talk was a good one!